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Enough Is Enough: Setting Boundaries With Your Parents

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As you become older and your parent ages, you may find that your parent has begun to completely change your life. While you anticipated many of the challenges that your career brings you at this stage of your life, your parents begin to need more of your help. While you should do what you can to help your parents, you will also need to set boundaries.   

Find Allies

Before you set boundaries, you will need to find allies in your family or among your friends who can back you up when setting boundaries. For example, if your parent keeps expecting you to have dinner with them more often than you can spare the time, and your parent makes you feel guilty for needing more space, you will need to explain how you feel. Your allies may be able to back you up when talking with your parent or may volunteer to spend some time with your parent.

Explain Your Boundaries to Your Parents

When the time has come to set boundaries, you will want to sit your parents down and explain to them of why you will be setting limits. You need to also treat their concerns with respect. Regardless of how your parents respond, you will want to remain firm on your boundaries. But you will want to also address your parent's concerns. For example, if they are afraid that you will not be coming around anymore, you will need to be clear on when you will come to see them.

Avoid Being Tricked

After you have set your boundaries, you may find that your parent is able to convince you to not respect your own boundaries. If this occurs, you should pay attention to the triggers that cause this to happen. Do your parents frequently convince you that there is an emergency, only for there to be none? You will need to find a way around these incidents, such as by relying on an in-home care specialist.

Rely On In-Home Care Professionals

If you are unable to devote more time to caring for your parents, you may need to hire an in-home care professional. This individual will be there to provide your parent with emotional support, care for his or her needs and make sure that your parent is taking his or her medicine. Ideally, you will want a company that can step in whenever you feel like you need a break. Contact a local provider, such as MultiCare Home Health, for further assistance.